I slept on a couch in my old roommate’s ex-boyfriend’s apartment with a tank that had a large snake in it. My dad had to move me from my apartment in the middle of the night. I was in a new job (at the psychiatry office) but I didn’t really know anybody yet. This time in my life was probably my darkest time. Of course, at the time I was just trying to survive and I had made even more mistakes in choices of boyfriends, dumping one who I thought was going to be “the one” for another who was already married, moving in with him, quitting my job of four years, and floating along until that one shoved me one day and I thought I had hit the end of the road. I love how I can look back at this and see how God stepped in and said “ENOUGH” and then started to guide my life.
When I finally settled into my first “real” or “grown-up” job, it was at a psychiatry office in medical records.
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I never really learned how to study because I didn’t need to study in high school.
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I was working full time and supporting myself and I just didn’t want to go to class. I just kept messing up until the worst possible thing (in my mind) happened.
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I was stuck back in my shell because I was in a large city (Austin, TX) yet I had tasted the free life so I was trying to continue that. In college, the depression just continued to get worse. But, I don’t believe in regret, only learning lessons from our mistakes, so let’s just move on. Let’s just leave it at that, except to say that if I ever allowed myself to regret things in life, these would be the things. Having been depressed for most of my life and now having a situational reason for more depression, I didn’t think too highly of myself (and my body) and things just went awry. For whatever reason, I was more free than I had ever been and I wasn’t as afraid of getting into trouble by my parents so I let loose a LOT. Or maybe, he was distraught from the divorce and felt some guilt over who knows what and maybe he just felt like he owed me. I was working my tail off at two jobs over the summer and I was a responsible teen so my dad just figured that he could lighten up on me. So…yeah…chemical imbalance.Īs a teen, I was probably more shy and reserved than most teens until my parents divorced and my dad loosened the reigns just a little. I honestly don’t think I would change a thing. I still feel like my parents were doing the best they could and I love them so much for the childhood I had. Sure, there were bumps and all, but overall, my perception of my childhood was great (at the time, at least). I think back then it was purely a hormonal imbalance or a chemical imbalance or whatever causes depression in young children when they really have nothing to be depressed about. I’m pretty sure that when I was growing up, I was depressed on some level. You may have wondered what this graphic is talking about – “music return”…Īnyway… I have been depressed for about as long as I can remember. Oh, and I totally started this post many, many months ago, got sidetracked, and I’m finally getting around to it again. I’ve told my Depression story many times on this blog, but I’ll give you a quick reminder. This medicine is my #2 most important medicine that I take (the other being Effexor XR and boy do I never want to run out of that, either!) and I am not prepared to live without it yet. This nighttime medicine is Abilify and Abilify changed my life. Believe me, I will not forget to call in this refill. I was almost out so I reminded myself out loud that I needed to call in a refill. Phew…Īs I was getting ready for bed last night, I reached up to my bedpost to grab my medicine bottle for my one nightly medicine. This is my story, all mine, and is not intended to tell anyone else how to or how not to live their own lives.
I am not a doctor, just a person who has suffered with Depression for many years (maybe my whole life) and I have chosen to take medication to help me. I was not asked to write this nor was I compensated in any way. Let me just start like this and get it out of the way – This post about how Abilify changed my life is all my opinion and is in no way sponsored.
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